It’s my birthday week and the beginning of the last year of my thirties.
Turning 30 was so traumatic, I expected the looming 40 to feel like the end of the world.
Surprise! It’s really not the end of the world.
I’m just coming out of a visit to the hospital and a few days out of commission – a story for another time – but I’m feeling better than I have in a while.
Physically, I’m still sorting things out. Mentally, I’ve decided to just let go and enjoy life – one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made.
The decision to not care can be a pretty low one. The apathy tied with not caring can grind the inertia of life to a halt. If you don’t care about anything, what’s the point?
In the same vein, if you are like me, you might be caring TOO MUCH.
A few weeks ago I had 40,000 things running through my head at any given time. I could barely function physically, on medical leave from work, and should have been focusing on nothing but healing, but I couldn’t let go of everything I was responsible for before having gotten sick. In the end, I collapsed both physically, mentally and emotionally.
I gave up.
After Rock Bottom and Letting Go
While hitting rock bottom is not necessarily fun, sometimes it’s necessary to stop the downward spiral and create a point from which to climb up.
So I’ve let go.
It’s not that I don’t care about things, it’s that I’m learning to prioritize. In order to do that, I’ve had to wipe the slate clean and let go of everything. It’s like starting from scratch or hitting the reset button.
Now I have an opportunity to slowly add things back into my life in an organized and prioritized manner. I have to take it slow and be sure not to add too much, and I have to remember that not everything can fit into every day.
This year my birthday felt significant in that I reached it. I hadn’t expected to, to be honest.
Now I can use 39 as a jumping off point. But I want to start small.
I’m taking inspiration from another blogger, and I’ll be spending this year checking off a list of 40 things I want to have accomplished by 40.
I also want to focus on building my list of future accomplishments for ages 40 to 50.
My mother shows me every day that there’s so much more to life past 40, so why stop here?
Without further ado….
40 Accomplishments by 40: Number 1
Creating a Family of My Own
I have wanted to have my “own family” since I was a little kid with my collection of cabbage patch dolls, strollers, and playpens. Taking care of others is just something that comes naturally for me.
I have been unable to conceive and only recently found out there is a nice collection of endometriosis fully blocking my Fallopian tubes. Trying to fix that has wreaked havoc on my physical condition. So I’ve had to decide that perhaps that’s not the way I’m meant to have a family.
My husband has had concerns for bringing a child into this world just to experience what we have. Things don’t look great politically, and the healthcare and economy just plain suck here in the U.S., so it’s a valid concern.
While I haven’t 100% given up hope of birthing a child, we are both currently happy considering the alternative of adopting. We’re not ready financially, and I don’t know if we’ll ever be, but there is hope that I can have and love a child in the future.
All that aside, there is no doubt that I have found an absolutely loving and wonderful person to spend this life with, and we have a collection of amazing cats that we’ve adopted and rescued.
Some may laugh, but I truly consider my animals a part of my family. I’ve taken my babies from being small, helpless, sick, and scared little creatures, to being full of life and vigor. I’ve watched them develop their own personalities, and I’ve even learned their individual language and cries.
Caring for this family, feeling their love, is something I am truly grateful to have.
Reviewing Instagram photos alone, I think I have plenty of proof that I’ve created a family of my own, so I’m checking that box – accomplishment DONE!
Check out my family from over the years:
What is one thing in your life you are proud of having accomplished thus far?
Comments bring luck.